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Ethical Fitness, Part 2

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Courtesy of Frederick Peters, President of Warburg Realty

Every day, each of us comes up against issues which call our sense of right and wrong into play. Often, these ethical issues are easy to solve: in most situations, if we can move our own self-interest aside, we know the ethical thing to do. But what about those situations in which both alternatives seem right? How do we construct a system for understanding and managing a choice between two equally good (or equally bad) solutions? Real estate agents and principals face this issue time and again, in negotiation, in multiple bid management, and in the Board package process.

Dr. Rushworth Kidder, the author of the book “Moral Courage” (among others) and founder of the Institute for Global Ethics, defined four fundamental “right vs right” situations into which almost all ethical dilemmas fall. They are: truth vs loyalty, individual vs community, short term vs long term, and justice vs mercy. As we think of examples for each one, it is clear that different people would lean to one side of an argument or another. My favorite truth vs loyalty example is the dilemma posed when your wife asks “Do I look fat in this dress?” Any one of us who has been married a long time knows that, if you hope to have a nice evening, the answer, regardless of veracity, is “no.” But is that the right choice? It depends on who you are. And what of the situation in which the seller wants you to claim to a buyer’s agent that you already have a full price offer (which you don’t)? Is truth better? Or do you opt for loyalty?

Another domestic drama – you are driving your wife, who is in labor, to the hospital. You are speeding. A cop flags you down. You explain the urgency of your situation. Does he give you a ticket? Is he merciful or just? You were, after all, speeding. The fact that your wife is in labor does not make your actions any less dangerous for others. Is the policeman a bad guy if he gives you a ticket anyway (hopefully writing it quickly!) Again, it depends on your point of view.

My examples are lighthearted, but the underlying problems are fundamental ones for all of us, whatever we do. Several of the right vs right dilemmas, for example, are raised by the co-op Board approval process. If our buyer decides to borrow assets from a family member or friend and pass them off as his own, are we truthful or are we loyal? If a powerful Board member persuades his colleagues to approve the marginal (but probably fine) buyer of his apartment even though that buyer might well be turned down if a less influential seller were involved, is the Board choosing the individual over the community? If so they may be creating a long term problem by solving one for the short term. How do we determine the correct way to act?

Dr. Kidder comes to our aid here as well, by positing three paradigms of resolution. First, there is ends-based thinking, expressed by the Utilitarianism of John Stuart Mill – which choice will create the greatest good for the greatest number? Second, there is rules-based thinking, or deontology, defined by Kant’s Categorical Imperative – if everyone behaved this way, what sort of world would it be? And finally there is the Golden Rule of care-based thinking: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. These ideas provide the trail of crumbs leading out of the thicket of the ethical dilemma.

Although I am in many ways a rule-based thinker, I don’t believe that white lies are always bad. There are times when a lie is kinder, or a better short term solution, than the truth. But the larger the issue, the more dangerous the lie. And I am very much of a Golden Rule believer: I will lean towards mercy over justice more often than I probably should. As for Utilitarianism, it has always seemed dangerous to me. In a real estate transaction, in a marital dispute, in an international confrontation, it’s very hard to posit which choice will create the greatest good. Human behavior has a way of confounding us all. Others rarely react as we anticipate they will or believe they should.

Each of our businesses, and each of our personal lives, are strewn with ethical dilemmas. You now know what I believe. What about you?

You can read more on www.warburgrealty.com/blog.


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